Blood will Flow

Warning - not a happy post. Personal and stuff so don't read if you are looking for upbeat me.
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He died last night around 10:40pm. They were surprised he slipped away so fast. Today has been spent in the beginnings of organising all the registrations and admin stuff, and this afternoon we were told that actually, it wasn't a stroke after all. Which was what I'd been querying all along, especially since reading his notes which only mentioned his falls and the subdural haematoma. The coroner's office called to say there needs to be an inquest but it's just a formality, as though it's classed as a death not from natural causes, there is no doubt about the cause, and obviously no worries about it being anything but an accident (or maybe an accumulation of accidents involving him banging his head! Flipping bloke was punch drunk!).

So in one way it's a good thing - the coroner's office take over a lot of the admin and deal with the registration of the death - but the downside is one of use will need to formally identify the body. So I've said I'll do it, but Mum's coming along tomorrow morning because she thinks she might want to do it. I think what I'm going to try and do is persuade her to visit the nurses on the ward who looked after him most of the time since the 18th, instead of coming with me to the Morgue. We bought them a thank you card and some Heroes chocolates today so she needs to take them up there - and she may as well do that while I'm trying not to become a blubbering mess in front of the coroner's assistant.

We have a date for the cremation - 12th May at 4pm - and I admit I'm very relieved about that because it means (selfishly) I can still go to Asylum 14 and to Rome, as this fits almost exactly into the middle of these two conventions. I'm here for another week to get things organised, then it's Birmingham for 4 days, back here to see Dad off, then Rome for over a week. I have a feeling this is going to be a roller coaster ride and people talking about Daddy Winchester might set me off at A14 but I'm sure I'll cope. As long as I don't end up having a melt-down in JDM's arms and getting snot all over his shirt, I'll be golden.

The day has felt very long - and it's only just gone 6pm now! I went into town for a couple of hours to get something to eat and nearly broke down over my pizza when I had the bright idea about setting up a Facebook page as a kind of book of remembrance so that Dad's hockey club folks and anyone else could maybe share stories and photos and stuff. It was (I think) a nice idea but it choked me up a bit. Anyhow, I'm alright at the moment - we've both been kind of taking it in turns to get teary. We took some of his walking boots and a pair of wellies to the Shropshire Wildlife Trust to use as planters but there are a lot of clothes to go through and bag up for the charity shops. I'm probably going to get a bit emotional over his shorts, thinking about his little brown legs which he got out in Spring and didn't put away again until November.

Thank you all yet again for your support over the last couple of weeks - it's been lovely to know you were all here.

Dad pic spam follows, for reasons...

In his West Derby kit after their club 125th anniversary game 2012

Jerash, Jordan in 1997 - on holiday with me and my Aunty Margaret. He actually had jaundice caused by gall stones this two weeks and was a bit subdued as a result... Though now I look at it, this pic makes him look like he's on the loo!

on the far left of the back row, demonstrating how vertically challenged he was - really, I sottd no chance of growing up tall! - with the Shrewsbury hockey veterans team in 2010.
Then going back in time

In Liverpool with the Dante Alighieri Society in 1989...followed by....
Whoops! Speedos!

on holiday in Provence in 1978...
followed by
Pre-beard!! 1966 in Llandudno with West Derby HC (far left back row again)

And finally - a family portrait from c1960

that's me and my cousin laughing at each other in the centre of some surprisingly jolly Byrnes.

Dad's been getting unresponsive over the last two days and Mum just had a call from the consultant to say the pressure inside his head is building again - so obviously the bleed isn't healing on its own. We only have two choices -
leave it to run its course and see him progressively decline as the pressure on his brain increases - and we don't know what that would be like for him, but it would have to be pretty bloody scary if he's aware of what is going on, or
they will operate - which they say is high risk, especially as they might have to go in more than once.

Mum told them she thought he'd want to take the risk and I agree it's a risk that has to be taken. I have to say, it's Hobson's choice. If we leave it, he'll definitely die and it will be slow and sad and hard to watch. If we go the operation route, there is still a chance he will survive and be able to have a decent quality of life. I know what I'd want if that was me.

Mum's going back in to the hospital tomorrow morning at 8am to discuss it with the consultant, and then they will take him to Stoke for the operation, where they have a specialist unit.

My Mum just popped onto Facebook chat long enough to send me two photos of my Dad looking like this:


With no explanation!  What the hell has he done to himself?  He's been falling over a lot lately - at nearly 80 he's getting a little unsteady on his feet; but he's still playing (field) hockey and umpiring, so he could have got injured on Saturday.  Though it also looks like a cartoon of someone with tooth ache.  Hey ho.

Ha ha update from me mam - it's an infected tooth and he's on antibiotics that have already started to reduce the swelling.  Poor old boy.

My Mum just popped onto Facebook chat long enough to send me two photos of my Dad looking like this:


With no explanation!  What the hell has he done to himself?  He's been falling over a lot lately - at nearly 80 he's getting a little unsteady on his feet; but he's still playing (field) hockey and umpiring, so he could have got injured on Saturday.  Though it also looks like a cartoon of someone with tooth ache.  Hey ho.

Ha ha update from me mam - it's an infected tooth and he's on antibiotics that have already started to reduce the swelling.  Poor old boy.